Just A Reminder--"The Smart Stepmom" Author Speaking in Normal, IL!

Here's a little more info on the Thriving in a Stepfamily event coming up September 15th and 16th in Normal, IL.  One of the event directors, Carrie, shares a little about her stepmom experience:)  I am soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo (get the picture) hoping that anybody within 150 mile radius (or more) will take time to make it to this event.  I am certain God will bless the conversations here and we will all go home with new tools to help make our stepfamilies better.  I hope to meet you there!

Have you seen this ad?  Have you answered the call?  If so, YOU are invited to join me at Thriving in a Stepfamiy Weekend in September and I hope you can make it.  I "got hired" on January 16th, 2004 and when I think about the last 8 and a half years, the first thought that pops into my mind is "boy, I did NOT know what I was getting into when I 'took the job' ".  I'll be honest, I was a little bit prideful as I was applying...
     Nine years ago, I saw myself as fully secure in all areas of life.  I had been raised in a stepfamily (2 actually!) and despite all of our challenges growing up, was convinced that the positive and negative aspects that I had seen in my relationships with my own stepparents would serve to perfect my own stepparenting skills.  Not only that, I had a super fresh degree in psychology and was persuing a master's degree in clinical counseling so I arrogantly considered myself an expert. 
     You can see where this is going, can't you?  I met a great man with a 4 year old little boy who's biological mom was 1,000 miles away and she wasn't looking back.  This man was an excellent father who was willing to sacrifice everything for the life he hoped his son would have....  And his son..  He was a cheerful sweet little guy with cheeks the size of couch pillows and a heart of gold.  The first time I met him, he scooted his chair right next to mine so that he could sit as close to me as possible and melted my heart in an instant.  The man wanted a wife, the boy wanted a mom, and I wanted for the desire to be both of those to be removed so that I could live my life without the possibility of ruining their's.  The desire did not go away and nothing could have kept me from this journey.
     What I did know:  I knew it would take some time to get used to our new family unit.  What I didn't know:  I didn't know was why it was taking so much longer than I thought it would to figure out my identity as a stepmom.  What I did know:  It would be difficult handling interactions with my husband's exwife.  What I didn't know:  That the very thought of being in a room with his ex would nauseate me with the feeling of being evaluated, watched, judged... .  What I did know: The ex would always have a part in our life as my stepson's bio-mom.  What I didn't know:  There would be many times that she would have a stronger influence over my house than I would.  And the list continues.....
     As a result of reading The Smart Stepmom, I now know that it takes at least 7 years for stepfamilies to figure out how function and how to navigate life together.  As a result of hearing the Author of the book, Laura Petherbridge, speak, I now know that when I married my husband, I also inherited his ex-wife as an "ex-inlaw" and I've learned how to cope with the emotions in this relationship.  As a result of becoming a part of a "Smart Stepmom" group (or "second wives club" as we like to call it) I've learned that I'm not alone in my feelings of insecurity and my heart is validated in this circle of support. 
     If you have answered this ad, you already know that the journey comes with unique challenges.  PLEASE join me on Saturday and Sunday, September 15th and 16th!  I'm praying that you will come out of it with renewed hope and perspective.  I'd love to meet you and I've already saved a seat for you!
Sincerely,
Carrie
The not-always-so-smart stepmom :)


http://stepfamilyhcc.weebly.com/tell-me-more.html