I'm a planner. I need to have a plan for just about everything I do. Don't get me wrong, I can be very flexible. If the plan changes, so be it. Sometimes, even I change plans if a different need arises or there's a better way to accomplish my tasks. But, no matter what, there needs to be a plan in place!
This past Sunday, my husband entered his 1950 Ford F1 fully customized, super awesome, hotrod truck in a car show. I was scheduled to work that day and sad that I wouldn't be able to go with him and the boys. But at the last minute, I didn't have to work so I got to go along with my family. Great, right? Well, sorta. I was excited to be there, but quickly realized that things were just happening around me and there was no plan in place to make sure everything got accomplished. I didn't know where to park, where my husband wanted me to set up the chairs, what we would eat for lunch and so on. I was annoyed!
Even though we aren't all planners, I think many stepmoms find ourselves in the same situation--we didn't plan to be here. When I was a teenager, I had my whole life planned out, and I can tell you with certainty that nowhere in that plan was being a stepmom. As one of my dear stepmommy friends put it "Have you ever wondered if there are young girls out there who say or dream 'when I grow up I want to be a stepmom!'?:-)" Well, I highly doubt it. Yet, here we are in a nation where nearly 50% of all marriages end in divorce and almost 40% of children are born out of wedlock. So the odds of one day becoming a stepmom are pretty favorable.
I've found that most of my life's plans have not turned out the way I thought they would. My career path, marriage, and family are not at all what I envisioned as a teenager. And I'm so glad. God had very different plans for me than I did and His plans are so much more beautiful! So, I try to remember that not having something in my plans doesn't mean it can't turn out well. And even though many of us struggle with being a stepmom, I have to believe that it is all for His purpose.
If you were wondering, my family had a great day at the car show. We found a spot for our canopy and chairs. We ate lunch, checked out the other cars, and read books I grabbed at the last minute. I successfully found a parking spot, the bathroom, and somehow managed to dissolve a sibling argument (or five). I enjoyed laughing with two little boys, had a couple of sweaty little turkeys sit on my lap, and snuck a few smooches with my hubby. And my husband's truck placed in the top 25 overall. All of this without a plan! Amazing!
The lesson in all of this is even though being a stepmom wasn't in the plans for your life, it is in God's plan. This is not to say that I believe God ever plans for us to divorce or have children out of wedlock. We do these things because we have free will, but our free will does not stop God from fulfilling His plans. He will shape you into who He wants you to be through your role as stepmother to your husband's children. If you're a struggling stepmom right now, don't give up hope. God has a plan and a purpose for you right where you are:) I speak from experience.
