Guide to Being a Stepmom on Mother's Day

Mother’s Day is here again.  It’s a day to pay honor to your mom for all that she has done for you by showering her with cards, gifts, breakfast in bed and overall making her feel loved.  But for stepmoms, this day can hold many different emotions.  There are stepmoms who will receive gifts, and stepmoms who will receive only blank stares.  There are some who will receive a forced wish for happiness and others who will receive a warm hug of appreciation.  Some stepmoms do not want or expect any recognition and yet there are some who hold onto a quiet hope that they will hear those three little words—“Happy Mother’s Day”.

I am incredibly blessed to have a great relationships with our boys.  But I know that’s not true for every stepmom.  While shopping for a Mother’s Day card this week, I noticed something strange.  There are literally no cards for stepmothers!  I was at 3 different stores  and saw all sorts of cards for mom,  mommy, mama, mother, mother-in-law, grandmother, grandma, sister, aunt, daughter, daughter-in-law, wife, and friends.  Yet not one card for stepmoms.

I was rather perplexed since I have not heard of any new holiday called Stepmother’s Day (because if I had, I would be having quite a celebration).   So I asked my husband, “Did you know that there are no Mother’s Day cards for stepmoms?!?!!!”.  “Yes I did”, he replied (score 1 to my hubby for having checked out the card sitch).  And it made me think about all the stepmoms out there for whom Mother’s Day might not be so joyful.  So here are a few tips for a happy Mother’s Day.

Be Gracious.  If possible, wish your stepchildren’s mom a happy Mother’s Day.  This is really her day, you just get to share it.  Help your children create cards and/or crafts for their mom.  No matter what your feelings towards her, you would not have your stepchildren in your life without her.

Be Clear.  If you’re expecting nothing at all or you’re expecting to be showered with gifts, be clear with your husband about what you want.  Tell him exactly what you would like because (surprise, surprise) he is not a mindreader.  Chances are, he’s already thinking of some way to honor you, he just doesn’t know how.  And once he knows how, your stepchildren will likely follow his lead.

Be Thankful.  Whatever recognition you get, be thankful.  A simple text or hug may be a lot for your stepchildren to give, so appreciate every bit of it!  What you put in may not be what you get out (at least not immediately), but that’s true of any parent.  You’re in good company here!

Most of all, even if no one seems to recognize all the hard work and effort and love and caring you put into your relationships with your stepchildren, I can guarantee you one thing—God notices.  He sees everything you are doing and He is rooting for you!  He is cheering you on and smiling even as He sees you struggle.  You will one day be rewarded for all your time and devotion!

From one stepmom to another, Happy Mother’s Day!!!